Miracle

I didn't want to get too far ahead of myself, but it's time to put it out there in the universe. A big, ole "Thank You" for the miracle that is John and his amazing recovery.

The tubes are out and just this morning his doctors got together to talk about when he might get to come home. He's alert, talkative, sensitive, loving, funny....all the things that make John, well, John.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone for your amazing prayers, kind thoughts and words, and love. We got ourselves a true miracle. We got ourselves our John back.

Lowest Common Denominator

I've always just called it "ugly" but as I've grown into the person you see today, I've started to call it "the lowest common denominator."

Ugly only refers to the behavior that I find to be classless, tasteless, ignorant, selfish or just plain mean but the idea of the lowest common denominator classifies a person or persons who routinely engage in ugly behavior and then blames everyone else for the impact this has on their own life.

Let's look at an ambiguous case study: you have negative relationships with family members, friends, co-workers, and authority figures like employers. You have problems keeping a job, a house, and commitments to others. You have legal problems, financial problems, issues with violence....the list can go on and on and on. And yet, you can't see that the only thing that is the same in each and every one of these problems is you. That's the common denominator. You.

I've had too much exposure to the lowest common denominator as of late. It's interesting how you can think of someone as a friend and then the lowest common denominator comes out fighting. I believe that a person shows you over and over who they are but unless you, yourself, are coming from a negative place, it's hard to see the bad and ugly in others. And then, when you're down yourself, it all becomes surprisingly clear.

I don't waste time on the negative. I'm not good at it. It can trap me for minutes, maybe hours. But soon enough I'm off again with something better, something truer. I just hope that our "lowest common denominator" can do the same. But I'm not expecting to "shine sh*t," as JR put it this past weekend. I'm not that talented. ;)

A Party!

Eliana likes Candy Corn. And costumes. And cup cakes. And parties. Parker likes everything, he's just that kind of guy. So this weekend's Velez Halloween Party Spectacular was a huge success. Like anything, it was full of crazy stress and big laughs, ups and downs, and family and friends. It was great.

Ellie-belle was a kitty cat and Parker was a mouse....a mouse that never put on his costume because it was 8,000 degrees and Mr. Mousy was made out of super-thick felt. Aunt Wendy, Uncle Chris, and cousin Cole were great hosts and put together just about the cutest kids Halloween party I've every seen. Okay, so it was also the first kids Halloween party I've ever seen, but that shouldn't cheapen it. Hehe.

The food was great and very creative. Can you say "Lumber-jack finger hot dogs?" Exactly. And the games kept everyone entertained for the full three hours.

Eliana did have a full-blown melt-down on the way home, but we forgave her. It's been a rough two weeks in our family and we'll let her slide this once. Everyone has been so great to us....so supportive and loving and encouraging. I'm amazed by every single one of our silver lining moments:

• Dan & Alisha, and cousin Rylee, coming home,
• My parents as they deal with all "the business"...and all of us,
• Barbara for ALL of the child care so I can be at the hospital,
• Derrick for holding me while I cry and laughing with me when I'm ready,
• Wendy for the love and surprise house cleaning,
• All of our friends for the out-pouring of love and help and food and....everything,
• Eliana & Parker for being so patient with mommy,
• And John...for choosing to FIGHT and LIVE.
  

I love you all. You make my life a party.

Half-Birthday

Happy (late) Half-Birthday, Mr. Parker Pie.

The Waiting

One of my favorite friends, Penny, calls it my "Irish Temper." It's in my blood. The inability to know what to do with anger and frustration. I, personally, choose to internalize while my face gets crazy red. I don't know exactly how John handles it, the frustration, but I'm sure the "Irish Temper" runs through his veins, too. And it's hard to look in those eyes and see it when we're just so glad he can open them in the first place.

John is doing so well. And yet, I'm not sure if he knows it. I can't blame him. He's in rough shape. But he's here. And he's getting a little better everyday.

But the frustration with where he is, his jaw being wired shut, the tubes and the wires, the long days and nights, the nurses and the doctors and the tests.....and us. I know he's frustrated if not just flat-out angry. We try to do the best by him. We try to keep those away who don't need to see him. We try to visit as often as possible all the while trying to let him rest. We try.

But we love him unconditionally. And I'll let him be frustrated because with it comes appreciation for little things like holding his hand, wiping his brow and reading his books aloud. And we wait....for the frustration to subside....for now.

My Mom's Words

My sweet baby brother John was in a very serious car crash on the morning of Saturday, Oct. 3. He was placed in a medically-induced coma to prevent further damage to his brain. He has broken all of the bones in his face, but amazingly, he has not suffered any other serious internal damage. We are praying for his recovery while an amazing team of doctors and nurses care night and day for our "smudge" and attempt to bring him back to us.

These are my mom's words:

Dear All,

Our deepest thanks to everyone for the outpouring of love and prayers for John. We know, absolutely, that the power of these prayers are working in John...yesterday we felt despair and today we feel hope.

We met with the team of neurosurgeons today and got their impressions of this morning's MRI scans. John did receive, what they're referring to as diffused injury to his brain. Each "lesion" kind of like an abrasion may have the capacity to heal to some degree. They, of course, can't offer with any certainty how much healing or how long the healing will require. They acknowledge John's age and general good health and strength in this process and they talked to us about "when" and not "if" John regains consciousness and ability. That was true joy to hear.

Though we've not gotten to witness these things ourselves, they tell us that, when they turned the respirator down, John almost breathed entirely on his own for some period of time today. He responded to pain. He responded to light. Though we know John has a long road ahead of him, these little things begin to rebuild hope in all of us. We're going to be making the mental shift from sprint into marathon as John's re-entry into our world will take weeks and months. But we believe we get to have him back.

John also had reconstructive surgery this afternoon to have his jaw put back together - a couple of plates and a bunch of wires later, he looks much more like the John we know. He had a big day with all of this and we told him goodnight at 5:00.

Also, the Red Cross approved an emergency leave for Dan to come home and he began his journey from the most remote parts of Afghanistan yesterday in order to come home to see his brother. Though he got delayed due to closed air space, he continued on and will be home tomorrow. Veronica, Dan and John together have some amazing sibling love and energy and I know that will aid in John's healing as well.

We ask that you continue to hold John in your prayers as he begins the long road of recovery.

Thank you.

Judy and Jim

Smudge

And then something can happen, just like that....
and it breaks your heart.