Sweet

Time for a Change

I think I have to go back to work. I think despite all of the things I would miss about being home with the kids, the time has come for me to make a change. I'm not good at being home anymore. I have no patience. I have no zest. I have no creativity. I feel drained and tired and overwhelmed. And unhappy.

This is no way for my kids to spend their days. It's not good for them to be home with me if I'm miserable and resentful that I'm home with them. Most days I can hardly stand to make it through the day. When the crying reaches hour four...hour five....I lose it. I feel burdened and put-upon and feel that I take the brunt of all of the bad stuff just because I "have the amazing opportunity to be home with my kids." It's not an amazing opportunity if I can't stand it anymore.

So, I guess it's time for a change. Because if it's not working like this, it has to be able to work another way. Time for a change.

Donut Party

There has been, for some time now, a phenomenon occurring at my house called a "donut party." I don't know how it started, except that somehow my Dad, Ron, realized that 2-year-0lds like sugar and started bringing donuts. Now, Papa Ron's name goes hand-in-hand with Lamar's Donuts, as far as Eliana is concerned, and about twice a month we get to enjoy my Dad, Cherlyn and sugary snacks and coffee.

Eliana adores the regular time with my dad and his girlfriend. Parker is much too jealous of the donuts. He really wants to join in. But he is beginning to love the visits just as much as his sister. I must say, I love them, too. One never knows the way life might change when kids come into the picture. I'm happy to report that it's only made my relationship with my Dad better. I love seeing my parents be grandparents. I love to see how they can't help but love every silly thing about their grandkids. I love knowing that the little boogers that drive me crazy all day are their ray of sunshine. ;)

Thanks for all the donut parties, guys! We love you.

Take Good Care

So, we've moved Parker into "The Kid Room" (it can't very well be just Eliana's room anymore, can it?) tonight. And we have our bedroom back. I can read in bed. I can have a retreat. One that contain a 20 lb. sleeping/snoring baby. I can talk to my husband in a voice louder than a whisper. I can get up in the middle of the night and fear walking past his crib! How strange!

We waited too long for this, but Parker is my baby! I feel more hesitant to move on to the next big step with him, because I know now how short each phase really is. How exciting for us (for me!) that we've reached this one, however delayed. And how exciting for our kids that they will have this time together.

Eliana perked up excitedly as I lay Parker down in the crib that used to be hers, "Parker's sleeping with me!!"
"Yes, love," I whispered. "You can sleep better knowing he's here with you. He'll be your little buddy all night."
"Okay, Mommy!! I take good care of him," she says. And is asleep within minutes. (Although we suspect she got up once or twice to peek in at him.)

Sweet babies.

This is not my beautiful house.....

I've been at this little experiment people call a "blog" for little over a year now. Observation (and a little back reading) has led me to conclude that this is not how I would have pictured my life say, when I was in college. Or traveling 18 times a year for business. Or winning an Emmy (which is still sitting here collecting dust.)

I'm concerned with things like babies. And cooking. And cleaning. (As for that aforementioned Emmy, it appears my cleaning skills could use some improvement.)

And I keep thinking about actually going back to work. But I can't imagine being away from my kids. I love how life can surprise you.

Surprise, surprise.

Me....young and ambitious and 22.
And already head-over-heals in love.

The Face

Parker sucks on his top lip a lot now that his teeth are coming in.
It's super cute. He's adorable.

To Do

I'm a slacker. I have all of these very exciting things to do, and I keep putting them off for one reason or another. I get too comfortable. And even when the things I need to do are big, exciting, "next step" kinds of things I sometimes put them off because no matter what, things will be different when I'm done. And sometimes I'm not okay with different. I like things the way they are right now because at least they are familiar.

Nonetheless, I've got some things to do. No more sitting around and talking about it.

1.) Get Eliana potty trained!! Seriously! She's almost three! Just do it already, she's ready! (We've officially started this morning.)

2.) Move Parker into the kid room. He's done sleeping in mommy and daddy's room....he just doesn't know it yet. (To commence as soon as Mr. Pope gets back from Vegas next week.)

3.) Spring Cleaning! I actually love spring cleaning. And it's been a while since somethings actually got a scrubbing. But it's hard to do the extra stuff when you're just trying to make it through the regular stuff. So, it'll take me months, but it'll get done. I'm picturing a nice, clean, organized, airy, sunshiny house in about June. ;)

So much to do!

Brand New

I'm feeling sentimental. I feel it when I look at my kids. My house. My brother. Even myself. With this new year we're entering a whole new year of opportunities and leaving a whole lot of things behind us.

We're done having babies. And the ones we've got, well, they just keep growing. I simply cannot believe how much Eliana has changed this year. She's amazing. And through my whole pregnancy with Parker I thought, "If I can just make it through the first year of newborn & two-year-old, I'll be fine." That date is fast approaching.

Parker is crawling, pulling himself up, and babbling up a storm.

Eliana is so verbal now. I love it. She talks and talks. We're looking at Preschools for the fall....

I'm feeling less and less like a baby machine. I actually kind of feel like me again (+15 extra pounds).

And so it goes. The next phase. With the ups and the downs and the new adventures. Saying goodbye to some good friends (Miss you already, Kelly & Family) and maybe finding some new ones? (Welcome to the world, Connor Carson!)

It's a new year. Goodbye 2009. Hello 2010.