The Gift of Guilt

Sometimes I read things and the only good it does me is that I feel guilty for not being the person whom I just read about. I'm not talking about Cosmo cover girls or Playboy Playmates (because my husband swears there is actual reading material in there,) I'm talking about the proliferation of "Mommy" blogs and the armies of Martha Stewart wannabes.

I love them and hate them. Those mommies. (Similar to my feelings about fashion magazines but that's a dilemma for another day.)

Who are these women who never have a bad day home with their 12 home-schooled children? And when did they have time to make milk-jug jack-o-lanterns, a home-cooked meal, all of their children's clothes and a set of curtains?? I'm baffled. And sometimes it brings out "the guilt."

Besides the fact that these people might actually be robots it seems to me that there lies a bit of "I'm better than you" in a lot of parent conversation, internet-based or otherwise. And for what purpose? We're all in the same (poopie-diaper smelling) boat. (But seriously, I am going to make those milk-jug jack-o-lanterns. They are pretty cool. Link here.)

I was recently reading a thread about healthy snacks for toddlers (as I was informed by mine that the snack I packed for preschool pretty much sucked) I read about 50 moms try to one-up one another about the extremes they each go to achieve the coveted goal of "healthy food for kids."

"I only give my kids whole wheat crackers and natural yogurt with raw honey."

"Oh, whole wheat crackers?! Only whole GRAIN crackers in my house. And raw ORGANIC honey from virgin bees." (okay, I made that last part up.)

Why the guilt?? Isn't parenting hard enough without the one-ups and you-sucks?? I know people offer the information as quasi-suggestions but usually they just come across as bragging. And a little insane.

I give my kids organic hamburger. And sometimes Cheese-Its. Because they are awesome. And while I try not to keep Doritos in the house because I will eat the whole bag, it doesn't mean Ellie won't eat you out of house and home if you have them at your next BBQ. Because they are awesome.

I see it all as a balancing act. A little of this, a little of that. A generally clean house, mostly happy kids, usually smiling parents, frequently delicious home-cooked food. You know. Balanced.

And in my brief moments I am trying to be a better mommy, inspired by fleeting moments of guilt perhaps, but a better mommy is a better mommy. So Ellie and I have been doing some projects, rooms are getting painted and put together in this little house, husbands are being admired and adored, and kids are regularly being loved and squeezed.

Beat that. Hehe.