Thankful

Sometimes you don't know what you want until you get something else....and that something is wrong. It feels wrong, it looks wrong, it's just wrong. Why is it that it can be so hard to be thankful for where you are in your life? In the moment. The here and now.

I'm one who focuses on the here and now. Don't get me wrong, I am also a planner, but I love individual moments and you have to kind of pay attention or those will pass you by without thought. And when I thought I'd return to work, on a part-time basis as I can't really stand to be away from the "babes" for too long, I thought it would all be great. And I'm sure there would be aspects that I would love. A girl can still enjoy the little things while being a grown up out in the real world. Such as hot coffee, the kind that is still hot...and not lukewarm and then cold by the time I get to drink it, and clothes that say "Hi, I'm amazing," as opposed to "Hi, I have baby boogers on my sleeve." You know, little things.

But when an actual opportunity was presented, it was wrong. And it made me think of all the things I would miss. And that I already had what I wanted. Even though I complain about it. Life is tough. On one hand, I like money. On the other, I love my kids. But we kind of threw the notion of having money out the window when we had kids...so I guess we just embrace the here and now. And dream about weeks long European vacations for somewhere down the road.

And until that day, thank you to everyone in my life who is so crazy as to support me no matter what I do and what I want. My amazing past-life co-workers (...and current great friends) who gave rave reviews of my professional life and my fantastic family who would do just about anything to help me achieve what ever it might be that I've posted on the docket for the day.....

Okay. I gotta go clean the house, take out the dirty diapers and give the kids a bath before preschool!! Hooray my life!!