I'm the Dude

My mind is polluted lately with all the things I want to do but haven't yet accomplished. The problem is that it's a long, long list of desires that are all completely and desperately mutually exclusive.

Such as...I want to play with the kids and take them to the park and the library and swimming and I also want to finish about 100 house projects.

And then...I want to create more fun family time when Derrick is here and I also want more solitary Veronica time.

And maybe...I want to go back and get that Master's (and be a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever) and I want to go back to work and I want to stay home with my babies (because it's finally getting a little bit easier!! Why would I give up my chance for the first "break" I've had in years? This is the hardest job I've ever had and I'm gonna "tender my resignation" as soon as I see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel?)

As the Big Lebowski, The Dude, would say, "Too many thoughts in the ole Duder's head."

As you might realize, there are a lot of difference between me and the Dude. But we have a lot in common. Okay so the Dude wasn't a stay-at-home mom but I feel his pain.

I'm stalled. I spend a lot of time waiting for someone to come "fix the cable" and with recent potty training efforts I'm quite sure that the rug has been micturated upon. Several times. I've got some growing emotional problems....beyond Pacifism.

And I'm looking for the answer by doing relatively nothing but waiting to see what information the world will provide me. I feel like I need to have a plan, because that's my thing. And a late-night fight between me and the Mr. a month or so ago revealed that I have to start doing more for me...just me. So I've started back to Yoga because I love it and stalking style blogs because I love fashion (and currently ignoring the fact that I have no where to wear a cute black French Connection mini-skirt) and spending a little time being me. And pondering my next steps.

Maybe I should just go bowling...

QOD: "Mommies don't work!! They stay home with babies!! And I'm pretty sure they don't go to school. That's a good deal." ~EKP

Adventures with Babies

I keep referring to our children as "the babies" and Eliana doesn't really appreciate this anymore. She, of course, is a big girl. And here is our big girl on a fake horse in Steamboat Springs. She REALLY wants a horse. Really. She told me about ALL THE WAY HOME FROM STEAMBOAT. Some days she drives me crazy. But she's so smart and so aware of everything in her little world that it's actually more amazing than annoying. Most of the time....

I took the kiddos up to Steamboat with my mom and dad and my grandmas, the kid's great-grandmas, for a few days of vacation. Why is it that vacation never feels like vacation with babies?? Excuse me, "baby" and "big girl"?? My mom informs me that you have to do the "hard time" and travel with them a lot, take them out to eat, and make them sit through Church (and they never actually have to do that last one...for now...) so that they are sweet, well-behaved cherubs when they're bigger. And I do have to admit Eliana is AMAZING in restaurants. She's so well behaved it's shocking sometimes. And Parker....well, I guess I'm just doing my "time" with that one.

Sweet Parker is just a crazy little boy. I love the age he's at though as I can actually see him learning. He practiced saying "Papa" under his breath for two minutes while walking across a bridge so he could say it out loud when Papa Jim picked him up. He's also quite convinced that every animal is a bear or a dog and they all say ''Moo."

Of all the things that drive me crazy in my day and in my life seeing how much Eliana and Parker really, truly love each other makes it all about 1000x better. They play and hug and chase and give each other good night kisses. I love that we have been able to give them each other. They'll have each other (if all goes according to plan) for the rest of their lives. It's the best thing we've ever done.

Old School

Happy 6 Year Anniversary, love.

Backyard Water Park

Quote of the Day: "You have to turn on the hose, Mom. The sun said I could play in the water." ~Eliana

Lazy River

With a house full of family and a what feels like a long, hot summer, my father-in-law, Jack, had the brilliant idea to go to Water World last week. We packed up the cars and made it for a whole afternoon. I had the distinct pleasure of riding along in a tube on the Lazy River with Parker. He LOVED Water World. What do you know!?! He might really be my son after all....

He waved at all the people, splashed in the water, giggled with delight, and when he snatched my sunglasses off my head and I playfully demanded that he give them back he cocked his head and gave me a big fat, "No!" He's 15 months old. And with that, I think, my baby Parker was gone.

He's acting so much older all of a sudden. He said "Blueberries" yesterday and "Grandma" this morning. He's paying attention to everything and he's learned he can actually tackle Ellie, knock her down, and pin her to the floor. He's 15 months old. Bye, bye Baby Parker. I love the little boy you are becoming. (Tackling Ellie included. I'm sure she deserves it.) How is it that a baby is just a baby for what seems like forever and then one day - not a baby. I'm glad I got the moment with him at Water World. It seemed like a little secret between me and him.

In other news we've got a list of things we still need to accomplish before these summer sands run out. Like a trip to Steamboat Springs with the parents and grandmas, a mountain retreat with all of the siblings when brother Dan and family get back from Japan, my cousin's wedding in Chicago and a few more house projects like painting the kids bedroom furniture. Not so lazy after all....

Quote of the Day:
"I love my Aunt Emma cuz she's all grown-up like me. And I love my cousin Cole because he's soooo handsome," ~Eliana

The Way Things Are

If I know anything, and sometimes I think I do, it's that the world will sometimes disappoint you. Maybe you made the wrong choice, maybe you trusted the wrong person, maybe you did the wrong thing, or maybe something crummy simply left you a little disillusioned. It happens. Too often.

But these things ultimately result in something better. Somewhere down the road you end up making better decisions, or being more careful about who and how you trust, or trying to be a better person just for yourself. This too happens.

From this vein come some news and life lessons:

1.) We took Eliana & Parker to a Rockies game. It was fun. Parker really liked it and probably would have watched all day. But eventually things with Ellie became a bit trying and our stay was relatively brief. We stopped by the totally packed kids playground, walked out of the stadium for some Dulce de Leche gelato and were driving back home by the sixth inning. As we were leaving Pope said, "This is why my mom never took us anywhere." Hmmm. Indeed.

2.) The baby brother is in love. It's adorable. It is publicly known that I completely despised the last girlfriend. She was terrible!! I could write for days of my disgust but I will not. No one needs to see me be that ugly. But from her he learned what real love is supposed to look like. And it looks like he's been able to find it. I am so happy for him.

I'm also instituting a "Quote of the Day" for the old blog because I want to remember all of the funny things that are said on a daily basis in our house. So someday our kids will repeat them to their kids and I will be genuinely satisfied....

Quote of the Day: Ellie, on me presumably brushing her hair to hard, "Mommy, stop!! You're brushing too hard!! You're hurting me twicer and twicer!!" ~ What??

My Girl Likes to Potty all the Time, Potty all the Time, Potty all the time...

Immense success in our little world as Eliana is going pee on the potty all by herself all the time. Seriously. All of the time. Like 18 times a day. Either she has a problem or she really likes jelly beans. I'm going to guess the latter. Geez, jelly beans. I wish I'd thought of those little suckers earlier as they have obviously created some previously lacking incentive.

Interestingly, we also spend a lot of time going potty when it's nap time, lunch time, dinner time, bed time or any other "interesting" time. We spent 18 months just trying to get her to sit on the darn thing at all and now I'm asking her to just stop for a second, for the love of God, and eat your Mickey Mouse chicken nuggets and hummus! This is why it must not make any sense to be a kid sometimes. Because parenting just doesn't make any sense.

We also spend all day talking about pee and poop. ALL DAY. They are fascinating conversations consisting of what things we do and do not pee and poop on. I really should right some of her questions down so that when I look back on all this remember her as my sweet angel I'll have a more realistic log containing things like, "Mom, do we poop on the cat?" (Followed by rounds of uncontrollable little-girl laughter.) Um. No, Ellie. We sure don't.

So congrats to the bug for her great accomplishment and her ability to remind me that all of my "control" issues will not aide me in this life lesson. As retribution, I'll keep all of the pictures I've taken of her potty time and her "Book of Questions" for high school blackmail.