I'm the Dude

My mind is polluted lately with all the things I want to do but haven't yet accomplished. The problem is that it's a long, long list of desires that are all completely and desperately mutually exclusive.

Such as...I want to play with the kids and take them to the park and the library and swimming and I also want to finish about 100 house projects.

And then...I want to create more fun family time when Derrick is here and I also want more solitary Veronica time.

And maybe...I want to go back and get that Master's (and be a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever) and I want to go back to work and I want to stay home with my babies (because it's finally getting a little bit easier!! Why would I give up my chance for the first "break" I've had in years? This is the hardest job I've ever had and I'm gonna "tender my resignation" as soon as I see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel?)

As the Big Lebowski, The Dude, would say, "Too many thoughts in the ole Duder's head."

As you might realize, there are a lot of difference between me and the Dude. But we have a lot in common. Okay so the Dude wasn't a stay-at-home mom but I feel his pain.

I'm stalled. I spend a lot of time waiting for someone to come "fix the cable" and with recent potty training efforts I'm quite sure that the rug has been micturated upon. Several times. I've got some growing emotional problems....beyond Pacifism.

And I'm looking for the answer by doing relatively nothing but waiting to see what information the world will provide me. I feel like I need to have a plan, because that's my thing. And a late-night fight between me and the Mr. a month or so ago revealed that I have to start doing more for me...just me. So I've started back to Yoga because I love it and stalking style blogs because I love fashion (and currently ignoring the fact that I have no where to wear a cute black French Connection mini-skirt) and spending a little time being me. And pondering my next steps.

Maybe I should just go bowling...

QOD: "Mommies don't work!! They stay home with babies!! And I'm pretty sure they don't go to school. That's a good deal." ~EKP