I think I have to go back to work. I think despite all of the things I would miss about being home with the kids, the time has come for me to make a change. I'm not good at being home anymore. I have no patience. I have no zest. I have no creativity. I feel drained and tired and overwhelmed. And unhappy.
This is no way for my kids to spend their days. It's not good for them to be home with me if I'm miserable and resentful that I'm home with them. Most days I can hardly stand to make it through the day. When the crying reaches hour four...hour five....I lose it. I feel burdened and put-upon and feel that I take the brunt of all of the bad stuff just because I "have the amazing opportunity to be home with my kids." It's not an amazing opportunity if I can't stand it anymore.
So, I guess it's time for a change. Because if it's not working like this, it has to be able to work another way. Time for a change.
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